Dum lagake...

Is it necessary that one has to try hard to fit into the good books of another.. How important is it to "be nice" ? I have a lot of friends.. who love heavy metal.. and make the car a disco type environment when going on drives... but I am quiet as a church mouse at that point... and let it out when they are in earshot.. hmm its their car, their wish.. its civil to shut up.. and bear.. and there are many more instances like that... so the question is.. is it fair that I be subjected to this torture as a compensation for their friendship? They are all nice people, but for this one thing.. and couple more perhaps.. nothing I can't grin and bear...and there I go again.. pushing myself into something I don't necessarily have to put up with!

Well its a wonder sometimes how many things I get pushed into.. education.. hardly ever had a choice.. even if I was given one.. I'd choose the one that fits best into the society.. Engineer.. doctor..all thats there...pushed into relations because I can't say "NO". And I am very sure I am not an isolated case.. there are many like me who feel that in the deemed and esteemed eyes of the society and circle of friends you should be so-and-so and have so-and-so qualities.. Hmm why the society and friends you may ask.. but the fact remains.. although we have an identity of our own, we still are are apart of a bigger game here.. and well lets face it loneliness is something that is fatal..slow poison as they say.. I have not met a person in life with no human interaction for years together.. you have to have someone.. alas you never find the perfect one.. the one that adjusts to all the stuff that u do.. its give and take.. hmm but then again, how much can u give and how much can u take.. thats how much you have to "push" yourself..

Take for instance the current youth, the gen X ..(I belong to gen W) they feel the pressure on them to change themselves into style gurus and popular divas to fit in.. else they are afraid of being left out..and as a result, the ages of tradition and culture is being washed away.. all thats left is "fit in" culture.. which is hip-hop and glamor and highlighted hair. I agree you can change yourself and make over... but only if you wish to.. not because some x,y,z on the road wishes so..let alone friends..how does it matter if you are overweight or underweight.. as long as you are healthy.. but nay.. society is for those who can wear the stylish clothes ..rather fit into stylish clothes.. so what if I have to become anorexic for it.. or resort to eating fatty food..

But alas.. sense does not prevail when we take decisions that affect our life for the "appeal" of others.. but then again.. we all do to an extent wish that you be known amongst the people around you as the sweetheart! and so you push yourself..Dum lagake ...

Main Khayyal Huin

Main khayyal huin --- Means I am a thought..and yes I did flick the dialog off an old epic serial aired on TV when I was a kid.. every episode used to start with "Main samay huin.." meaning I am time.. its after the passive viewer of every life on this and other universes. On the other hand there is a thought.. very much active alive.. thriving in everyone's mind... frolicking from a definite form to a random thought and then blowing itself to an indefinite sphere.. and then.. reality comes forth and u realize how difficult it is to trace back the trail of thoughts that occurred.. where did it all start.. and where have I come to? Which one to be.. the thought of course.. just for the reason that its simpler..

There are too many things in the world to think about... is it a surprise then that a thought is more random than the most random noise that can be found in the current wireless comm systems.. hmm.. so let me start off on one...I have often begun thinking about happiness and laughter.. and the pleasant things that I have had in life.. and end up getting depressed.. hmm interesting isn't it that I end up at exactly 180 degrees across from where I begun..

Well.. its true isn't it that life is like a sine wave.. once high once low.. but then isn't body a system and the mind its controller. No matter where the pointer of life is on a crest or a trough, mind always makes sure it remains at DC... not moving anywhere..hmm interesting .. but only in thought.. not in reality.. it takes tremendous effort to be a passive observer of your own self and control the moves you make. But the truly great manage to do that.. I wish I knew the secret to success in E control.. and that's E for emotion.. not E for energy!! and then of course the classic question that I ask myself every time I try to practice it.. " Is it really that necessary that I exhibit control.. isn't life meant to be lived?" and so.. I am a thought..