Koi Mil Gaya ??!!

Desperation for love.. a deadly syndrome hitting all my friends these days.. I want to love someone I want to have a girl in my arms when I meet my friends.. Nice, but do you realize what you are headed for? 'I want to get married.. its high time I do'.. they say, and I ask 'so.. you can't force yourself into love honey, you've gotta find love and that ain't simple as you think it is'.

Love is a pure feeling that emanates out of a want to be with someone, to make memories with someone who not just shares your interests but shares your attitudes, respects your opinions and decisions, is able to put you before themselves when needed and ... the same works for you as well you should be ready to put them before yourself. Its not a one time see and decide story.. thats possibly an arranged marriage.. not love. You grow to like a person, no instant coffee here!

And the dreaded C word .. Commitment, think about it.. one person all your life, no matter what happens, no matter how old and wrinkly they get, no matter how grumpy they get during their midlife crisis, no matter how unstable the situations around you are you have to stick by each other and have that love going for eons to come.. are you ready for that? Not if you go in with a mindset that I am going to love the next single cute girl I see.. how do you know she's the one? there should be something.. some one thing other than looks that will make you want that person all your life.. and that one thing believe me is not easy to find.. Finding faults is easier..and you will find faults all your life with your partner.. but then there should be that one reason that will make you still stick to that person.. I am amazed everytime I see mom and dad quarrel and then settle down.. how can you be with a person who's hurt you so much with words I ask my mother, and she always says .. he is like that, he'll come around in a while, we can't stay without each other! And thats what is love.. no matter what happens, there should be a strong enough reason for you to go back to the same person...

Its really silly to love a person just because its the in thing, or just because all your friends are married. No amount of social pressure is enough to make me fall in love.. Ah but then again that's just me.. the rest of world around me is blissfully hunting for love.. which on the face of it ain't a bad idea.. but then grabbing on to the first girl/guy you find and decide to say I do in a weeks time and expect it to last for a lifetime.. well lets say is too ambitious. Ofcourse there are classes of people who can pick people like we pick melons.. one look and that it you know it all.. but I ain't one of 'em.. and there aren't really as many like that anyway.

So all people who are desperately hunting for love .. think of a girl/guy..not a status symbol, think of companionship not something to show off.. think of love and commitment .. not desperation for commitment.. Seek and you shall find.. and think before you say " Eureka!! I've found the one"

Allah Ke Bandhe Hasde....

Uncertainty - in everything! Every place I go I see so much to make me upset forever.. and throw me into maniacal depression. And I am not even talking about the real problems .. no poverty, no global warming, no terrorism yet in my list. Simple things make me depressed these days.. two failed marriages of people whom I hardly know.. relationships that are based on absolute zilch.. shaky job scenario around the US and the world in general.. old missed opportunities that haunt and taunt me.. Nice people with real bad luck.. bachelors with bad bathrooms!! You name it and I am depressed with it.. and sometimes (especially on full moon nights) I seem to be unable to shut my brain and say stop it! that's enough! I want to not think about depressing things. As it is the everything from economy to rice supplies in Indian stores are down.. I don't want to bog myself down too.. but the brain ah .. it ofcourse has a mind of its own!

You must be thinking .. PJ.. yes the famous acronym for a Poor Joke.. or the way I put it silly rotten jokes.. and that's when it hit me.. a light moment that's all it takes to bring a smile back to a depressed face. Imagine couple angry with each other and have just finished a real WW III type argument and one of them does something silly or funny.. I bet you the anger goes out the window.. at least temporarily.. Ofcourse this ain't a fool proof solution.. but then light moments are unbeatable when it comes to minor repairs!!

So this blog is dedicated to PJ's!! Use without caution!!

Q:what do monsters make with cars?
A:Traffic Jam!!

Q:what do sea monsters eat?
A: Fish and Ships!!

Q:what is black white and red all over
A: A zebra wearing too much lipstick!

Q:why do mummies like chirstmas
A:Because of all the wrappings!

Q:why did the hen cross the road
A:he had to prove that he was not chicken!!

Q:why did the chewing gum cross the road
A:because it was stuck to the hen :-o .. That is a true PJ

Q:why did king kong climb all the way to the top of Empire state bldg?
A:because he was too big for the elevator!!

Q 1 :I buried a stone in a park.. and looked for it 10 mins later.. but it was missing what happened to it... (wait for the answer (its marked as A1))

Q:what makes an octopus laugh
A:ten tickles (tentacles)

Q:when can u put pickles in a door
A: when its ajar (a jar)

A1: The green eyed stone eater ate it :D

Q2: Ok now I picked the stone up and put in another spot and when I checked after 10 mins it was missing and Green eyed stone eater had an alibi so be assured it did not eat it!!
A2 : A red eyed stone eater ate it!! :-o

Q: why do african animals not play games
A: because there are too many cheaters (cheetahs)

Q:why does batman keep cancelling his fishing trip
A:because robin eats up all his worms!!

Q: All you engineers this is for you...What happens when I dig a hole through the earth (pole to pole) and throw a stone in ..? .. answer will come later

Q: what is an elephants favorite game
A: Squash!

Q: why did the elephant paint its toenails red?
A: Because it wanted to hide in a raspberry bush

Q: why did the elephant want to hide in a raspberry bush?
A: So that it can jump out and stomp people

Q: why did the elephant jump out and stomp people?
A: Because that is the way elephants play Squash!! :D

Answer to the engineering question .....if I dig a hole through and through in the earth and drop a stone in.. all you engineers , I hope you recall this from your gravity based physics classes: the stone oscillates pole to pole before it settles in a equilibrium .... ahem. but that's not the answer .. we ain't geeks! we are silly people at present so.........the answer is.. the green eyed stone eater gobbles it up!! :D


Alright.. I think you get the point .. a little laugh a little fun is the way to go!

Jaane Kya Hoga Rama Re....

What is it about super heroes that we like the most? Is it their invincibility? Or is it the fact that they are always there to protect the world from the evil? Or is it that they are so .. human despite the powers?

Ask me and I'd say the most desirable thing in a superhero is their invincibility...! But many would vote for the vulnerability despite the super powers.. we are a race that likes to see power being defeated.. why can't we accept superiority? Why can't we accept perfection.. a super hero has to have a flaw.. why? well part of the reason is that there wont be anything for the villain to work on otherwise and hence no storyline... but those can be restricted to weaknesses like superman's failure when there's kyrptonite around .. but these days the audience has turned the villain instead.. asking for more human-like superheros.. they should be susceptible to a dark side within themselves, they should be envious like others.. they should be susceptible to even subpoenas when someone sues them.. I mean where are we headed.. even the heroes we idolize are like us .. then whats so super about them...Really we should stop making the extraordinary seem ordinary.. and ordinary seem like the be all and end all of life.. Its not fair.. not for the people who aim for perfection..

The concept of greatness is far miscalculated and misjudged these days, right from reality shows that vote for the most vulnerable and supposedly downtrodden than the actual genius.. just be cause 'humanness' is over rated.. the common man is powerful.. but hey guys let the experts do their job.. We elect people who are commoners and have no bit of leadership qualities.. because we identify with them as a commoner.. and see what happens when you hand over the nation to such people who can't lead.. where as the actual leaders.. they have to sit all day in the parliament trying to prove their point..and become mere non-entities..

I am not saying that perfection does not exist among the commoners.. but that does not mean you select someone who has no talent just because he is a commoner or a person from a community that was backward in the 1940's or was treated badly in the early 1800's! We are slowly headed towards a society where people staunchly believe that a person cannot be good at everything.. cannot be a perfect person and a person even remotely having such qualities is a fraud.. well leave alone perfect at everything.. the world these does can't even accept that a person can have exceptional ability in any one thing either.. it pains me when I see Emon Chatterjee from Indian Idol participate in all XYZ competition to prove himself while the likes of Suhit and Abhishek and Chang (whose talent is honestly not on par with Emon) get to cut an album with Sony.. and you know the worst part.. the winner is even worse in singing talent than the people mentioned above... and why is all this happening? Its because the winner is from a small town.. has a background that is different from the others.. and was initially not treated well in the competition.. and his commonness and flaw-ful singing is glorified to the extent that he wins the competition and poor the talented lot.. are just named arrogant and affluent.. so are undeserving..

when is this going to stop? Movies show us how a small town girl comes up on her own and her feet to win a modeling contest.. a fairytale story.. but if every small town girl without any talent or looks comes to town and is made a model.. imagine how lakme fashion week would be! And categorizing the city ones as snooty and high-and-mighty.. is a gross stereotyping of the city lot.. what does that mean..? all city girls are snobs and all small town girls are modest.. give me a break! That is not just presumptuous but also preposterous.. Wake up guys.. let talent be talent.. no strings attached.. let heroes be heroes .. don't make them human..!

Hmm if you are wondering why this sudden post of heroes and talent .. its the anticipatory emotion on the release of Drona and the beginning of the new season of Indian Idol.. Jaane Kya Hoga Rama Re..........

Tera Mujhse Hai Pehle Ka Nata Koi

... Yunhi nahin dil lubhata koi.. Jaane Tu.. Yaa jaane na, Maane tu ya maane naa.. No.. I am not promoting the movie that claims to the the 'chweetest' college love story (of 2008) nor am I planning to promote a probable sequel 'Maane tu ya maane na' depicting the perils that Jai (Imran Khan) falls into after his made-in-heaven love marriage to Aditi (Genelia) , with her bossing him around singing the title -maane tu... Hmm silly jokes apart, why I brought the song up is because of its first sentence. Tera mujhse hai pehle ka nata koi .. How does one know whether there is a bonding between them, more so in their very first meeting , not that the song suggests it but I have seen several cases of 'love at first sight' and have always thought that at least one of the parties is surely kidding when they say they were in love at the first sight.. It can't be that two mature individuals look at each other and feel instant bonding of love. Love has its own strings attached that you discover that much later than the fabled first sight.

And yet there are people around the universe who claim their first meeting was the very moment they knew they were meant for each other.. My question is how?! Its not melons for crying out loud.. that you go look, knock, and take home! Its a completely different issue that even after several trials and tribulations I still can't select a good melon, let alone identify one by color or sound. But a life partner, which I'm sure most will agree with, is more complex a theory than melons.

Taking time has its own charm, the denial, fighting it out withing yourself whether this is it or not, finally owning up, building trust and once you find a reason behind your choice of a life partner.. you know you are in love! It's not fair giving credit to the first meeting alone, its what takes place after that, the realization that without him/her your life has this unexplicable emptyness that just refuses to go away, that is when you can declare to the world, that you are in love.. not really when you meet for the first time in a coffee shop.. or any other mushy romantic setup!

There was a strange observation I made about the correlation between love-at-first-sight and arranged marriages. They both happen in the first meet! think about it , practically speaking, how much time is given to a girl and guy who are supposed to get married by their parents wish.. one meeting in a busy living room and then a series of phone calls continue, but the would -be-couple are already in a mind frame that tells them they are already a couple and declaration is the only thing left - Thats as close as it gets to love at first sight.. except perhaps in this case, the mind frame is -lets try this out, rather than lets get this settled. (May be this should make the against-love parents relax a bit eh?)

And the same question arises again, how do you know this person is right for you.. some of my friends tell me its a feeling, you will know.. or as Madhuri Dixit in her all time hit says 'God will ishara-fy and your heart will understand' yeah yeah.. only if dear God was free enough to make us realize love in the first meet! I stand by my policy it take years.. at the minimum months to know if a person is really meant for you , whether its a 'pehle ka nata' or 'sau saal pehle ka pyar' or plain old pyar. Love grows on you.. and no not instantly!

Zara nazron se khehdo ji....

Ah! the language of eyes.. if only all could read and understand each other without the necessity of spelling out emotions.. or even actions.. ! Perhaps its not easy and is rather confusing, but it sure pays when you master the skill!

But leave the ishaare with eyes alone, its difficult for most these days to even understand words..Gen X seems to need 10x the words and 10x 'round the bush turns' to take a simple thing to their head! Can't seem to fathom the simple.. it has to be complex, its like simplicity and logic was never even published in their version of the dictionary. There begins the saga of misunderstandings!

But they aren't to blame! Take the soap operas aired at prime time these days, where even if you try hard,.. grit your teeth and use all your Grey cells you can't understand why the protagonists try and test their pea brained husbands with a 'here-we-go-round-the-mulberry-bush-routine' of half-truth narrative of events. No wonder people these days try to search between lines and construct conspiracy theories when there aren't any! If they would only sit and talk honest with each other, misunderstandings would never arise.. but in that case I guess the serials would not run either.. well at least not for years and years!

Talking of Soap Operas.. I have recently started reading a PremChand Novel (Don't ask me where I found that!) and it sounds really like one of the soap opera's up on air.. not that stupid but has a lot of inside the house politicking, and loads of misunderstanding and complex situations.

The novel is set in Benares, at a time when girls were married off to a older men for the sake of mere money.. The story revolves around a girl Nirmala, who falls into misery after misery (see why I call it a mega series soap?).. firstly she agrees to a marriage with a person almost the age of her father and has three kids (like Paro in Devdas).. with obviously no opposition .. such were the times I guess, then she gets pushed around by her sis-in-law , but bears it silently again no opposition, but the most intriguing of her miseries is when there is a huge misunderstanding of her realtionship to the eldest son.. who is conveniently almost her age.

Then there is husband character, I am not sure what Premchand had in his mind when he wrote the novel, but according to me the husband is one of those people who needs to be vaporized from the face of earth! Realises not that his wife in no good mind can have a 'normal' marriage with him and goes on to be irked by her attention to kids so much that he creates a rift and a misunderstanding between the eldest son and the step mom that nearly cost's one of them their life!

The eldest son is ofcourse oblivious from his father's devious notions, thinks he's at fault for a unknown unexplained reason, and thinks he is the harbinger of sadness and misery to his father and his mother ... even his real mother that died! Only if they talked straight to each other none of this would arise. But people do have a habit of bringing hell on to themselves .. and so did Nirmala and her family. But enough about Nirmala here, I do have another blog where I do go into the story much deeper.. do stop by if you are intrigued or even just plain curious about the story!

Zindagi kaisi hai paheli...

There are ups and downs trials and tribulations...and yet life is life.. you hate being yourself sometimes.. Wish you weren't yourself when you are depressed about gaining that extra pound or when you have a nagging pain pounding your head.. or this one's my favorite.. when your going through a heart break.. You feel.. why am I myself.. but the universe answers for you. You are what you are for a certain purpose it which fits into the bigger picture, if you were not there the chain of events would have been different.. If you are facing difficulties, its for a purpose and not in vain.. and so're the rest of the people around you. Sometimes I come face to face with people who I secretly wish could be vaporized from the face of the earth... just for their incompetance or their stupidity.. it can be frustrating at times.. but then I realize after they've left that they might be better at something else.. they just may not be the best people in my field.. and I owe them that benefit of doubt that they are in the wrong place.. all they have to do is identify their purpose in life.

Hey and whoever said life's perfect.. either is smoking pot.. or is in a deep bliss of ignorance. I see people laughing and playing and getting almost everything they wished upon the star for, but the point I try to think.. they have luck.. so what? I have perseverance.. and thats what comes handy when luck runs out. I was really jealous of all those people who got jobs I'd kill for and got paid and laid much faster than I did, But then.. if I had followed the suit..I would not be here with a higher degree of education and of respect.. I love myself now.. the respect I get when I tell them I am a doc! So there was a purpose for me not getting an instant placement..

I used to scorn when my mother in her typical nirupa roy tone used to tell me " Jo kuch hota hai, sab acche ke liye hota hai". I realize now that what she meant was not that whats happening is going to beget good.. but you can make it a life experience and learn from it.. So one might question... So what did I learn by being involved in a relationship that gave me nothing but sadness.. like my friend asked wide eyed and tearfully, when her 7 year old relationship with her boy friend came crashing down two days before her final.

Tough.. I said.. but you will realize eventually.. and well yeah she did.. realize the new found freedom and the ability to make her own decisions and joys of being single again!! And the pressure before her final made her flunk it.. but she made it up next sem with better percentage..! a tiny winy minor detail!

But the point is.. life is tough.. its not perfect..swings like a sinusoid.. but hey.. its your's and its upto you what you make out of it.. Depression can pull you down.. or just shrug and walk on.. and you'll realize the beauty of life..

Zindagi... kaisi hai paheli haii... kabhi to hasaye.. kabhi yeh rulaye...

Gham se ab ghabraana kaisa...

... Gham sau baar mila... Thats what gurudutt sang in pyaasa..may be thats true.. and more so in my case.. Met with an accident two weeks back.. and its changed things, no not physically but it was a rude push into the real world for me. I was living in my own sweet dream sequence that never had serious life threatening issues.. where nothing can shake a person.. its all in the mind... ya it still is.. but now I know.. things are not as simple as my mind had conceived them to be. But why that title you might wonder.. well my car accident was followed the next week by another accident this time with hot water. Two accidents and a couple of lectures from friends later my mind at least has started questioning itself...Lemme start at the very beginning.

It was a gloomy cloudy day.. never wanted to start to office in the first place.. the very begining of my mental inertia.. but reluctantly woke up.. and dressed shabbily for office and started out. It was raining and I was thinking , can't quite remember what.. it was never that important that I don't notice a red light fall infront of me.. I saw it.. I stared at it.. and lo behold.. I did not stop..I did not react.. I saw a car come from my left and again.. I did not react.. kept staring at it.. and then I banged into it... my mind the inert.. was just watching all this happening.. I went and banged a pole.. and then let out a shout.. Screamed and airbag burst on my face. hit the dashboard.. and thats it.. I knew it was over.. and still I feel that was a condition reaction to scream... my mind was in inertia all through.. why was that .. can't explain.. why did I not break? why did I not stop even when I saw another car approaching? Why? Was it the rain? I guess not.. It was my mind.. which I sincerely believe was not ready to come into the present.. just stayed in a "sleep mode".

And then the ordeal began.. with million calls to insurance agents.. Well thats not quite it.. I got away with only some ordeal.. but eventually all that matters is that I am back with a car and my faith in humanity is replenished fully.. thanks to my insurance agent and the accident and insurance investigator! I do have someone else driving though.. But its surprising that I survived.. and more surprising that I did not 'feel' it when I was actually involved.. it was after it was over that I realized what I did and the magnitude of it...it was I was watching myself from a distance go bang into a car and a pole. What was going on in my mind? I dont know.. it was emptiness in the mind and numbness in the body..although there was no physical harm all that there was a mental pang of guilt mixed with hordes of dreams of mental atrophy..

Hardly had I recovered from that I poured some hot tea over my self.. and burnt my skin so bad it still hurts... and why was that? Again the inertia.. I was not even thinking this time.. it get progressively worse I guess...there I was drinking and it was too hot even to sniff and I tried placing it on a table it spilled over me and I lay there still.. staring.. and then i got up and put a cream.. the absolutely wrong thing to do when you have burns!! I learnt it the hard way.. First Aid has never been my forte.. but still common sense should've been. I was at least conscious enough to call my friend and ask her what to do.. she said no ointments just cold water.. and volunteered to call the emergency for me... and I stared down at the lump of ointment I applied..washed it off while the emergency arrived... Three shots of morphine and loads of painkillers later.. it dawned on me..and I questioned again .. what was I thinking? and the answer is anyone's guess.. nothing.. nada.. nil.. why? Why does the mind go wandering when you need it the most? Why does it go into lapses when it needs to concentrate more.. it goes into sleep mode stays there.. refuses to change state..but why?

Unanswered questions ... but one thing is for sure I am not afraid.. yes there is the inherent fear of the unknown and the prayer that this not happen again.. but apart from that .. I am used to it now! .. and again this might be a game that the mind is playing... going back into the state where it thinks nothing matters.. pain, agony, ecstasy, sorrow, happiness.. none of it makes a difference.. its inert!