Kya yehi pyaar hai...

Its summer time and the sun sets at 9 pm... and its bright and hot till then..restricting my usual free spirit which asks me to roam around the town and discover new shopping venues..yes its there in me too.. the common streak found in any girl of any origin... the shopping mania! But this isn't about that.. With all the restrictions from weather in place.. I am spending more time watching stuff on the net than anything else.. And I come back.. to my favorite reality show..Indian Idol (Desi i.e other wise I love the old UK game show Crystal Maze). In one of the recent episodes.. the third gala round, Emon, the perceivably best singer in the group got nailed very badly by the judge Anu malik.. Why.. because he is conscious of the fact that he sings good... and he had to apologize for that.. What world are we living in? The world that condemns us for even being conscious of what we are good at? Is it really a sin to be happy and confident about our abilities? Its pathetic that one has to be guilty of ones goodness.. let alone loving ones positives.. while being aware of ones negatives.. Why should one not be proud of himself for being a great singer... Its but obvious that Emon had a great voice.. and its parody that he should be in tears because of it.

Why can't people accept somethings.. If he is bad.. he will be voted out.. and should be too...but what I can't understand is why the judge thinks he might be voted out because he is good.. and he loves himself for it.. God is this what we teach the young ones.. that guy is a solid 7 years younger to me.. and represents the gen X and this is what we are projecting to them.. be guilty of ur talent, dont be proud of urself, from where can they build self dignity and self esteem then?
Love and confidence.. it all boils down to that... Love yourself for what u are good at.. not for what you aren't.. be honest about it, thats where ur humility lies.. not in the fact that u are guilty about ur goodness... and be confident of ur talents.. if u are honest.. it will come automatically..(ah but thats in a ideal world where there exist no people to make u feel sorry about urself). Love yourself.. truly.. only then can u expect some one else to fall in love with you.. if u think u are pathetic and expect that someone else will think u are wonderful and are waiting for them to come and tell you that.. so that u can start feeling good about it.. I'd say.. you are a fool!

Are Deewano Mujhe Pehchaano...??

What am I or Who am I.. which is the one that matters the most? I often come up with this puzzle of whether the person matter or the identity.. I agree that name and location and social status and all such stuff matters.. but how much does it weigh when there are a zillion other things that define ones personality.. I am a dancer, I am a painter, I am grad school student.. I am the one that has the cheek to go upto the engineering school Dean and say.. "hey.. ur face looks really familiar.. who are you.." hardy har har... but then that's me.. and that is what defines me.. I am an absent minded student who always loses her way back home.. but does it matter what my name is or which street I live in..? And yet people ask.. the first time they meet.. so what is your name..I wish I could say hyderabadi zafrani pulao.. as in Cheeni kum.. but alas I can't..and I am not a famous person that I have to say my name and details everytime I meet someone.. even on the net.. the first thing that a person asks is.. name and then ASL.. area, sex, location.. Grr..

Probably that's the reason why I can't remember the names of people I meet either.. I can talk to a person whom I've known in my school days and yet not remember her name.. I would vividly remember that she was the one who stole my lunch box and gobbled it up.. but I would not remember her name...:) .. Darn what if it were the other way round.. go up and say.. Hey tinku how are u.. and then not find a single thing that u remember.. but I guess that is a rare possibility.. if you can remember the name of the person then u will surely remember the details.. and yet people ask for names and id's.. Whats in the name? I could be sheela, meeta, raani or even asraani.. and in this age of the Internet no one would even know.. you can build an entirely different personal id.. and yet somehow there is much importance given to names ..

Why is it that people feel safer when someone says " hi my name is ....." than someone who says.. whats in the name.. u can call me whatever u want.. why the judgment against such a person? I think it might be that the secrecy of name, age, location might make others think that something is being held back ..may be she's linked with the underground.. may be she's a don.. why can't it just simply be .. may be she does not like her name.. or perhaps she's got too many ex's! whatever be the reason.. if its an informal meeting.. or over the net then i think its not at all necessary that one introduces themselves with names and mundane things like that..

There are so many times when i feel gosh.. I wish I could escape to a place where no one recognizes me.. I wish I could be just me.. or not be me.. be a character out of the loads and barrels of books I have read... alas no one prefers it these days.. not that I blame them.. its not a safe world anymore.. but there are harmless people wanting to have some harmless fun without the necessity of recognition spoiling the scene.. but that's just me.. a whole lot different from the rest of the world..I wish people would stop asking me who I am and rather question me on what i do, what I like, what I think, what I feel is right or wrong..what I am on the whole!