Are Deewano Mujhe Pehchaano...??

What am I or Who am I.. which is the one that matters the most? I often come up with this puzzle of whether the person matter or the identity.. I agree that name and location and social status and all such stuff matters.. but how much does it weigh when there are a zillion other things that define ones personality.. I am a dancer, I am a painter, I am grad school student.. I am the one that has the cheek to go upto the engineering school Dean and say.. "hey.. ur face looks really familiar.. who are you.." hardy har har... but then that's me.. and that is what defines me.. I am an absent minded student who always loses her way back home.. but does it matter what my name is or which street I live in..? And yet people ask.. the first time they meet.. so what is your name..I wish I could say hyderabadi zafrani pulao.. as in Cheeni kum.. but alas I can't..and I am not a famous person that I have to say my name and details everytime I meet someone.. even on the net.. the first thing that a person asks is.. name and then ASL.. area, sex, location.. Grr..

Probably that's the reason why I can't remember the names of people I meet either.. I can talk to a person whom I've known in my school days and yet not remember her name.. I would vividly remember that she was the one who stole my lunch box and gobbled it up.. but I would not remember her name...:) .. Darn what if it were the other way round.. go up and say.. Hey tinku how are u.. and then not find a single thing that u remember.. but I guess that is a rare possibility.. if you can remember the name of the person then u will surely remember the details.. and yet people ask for names and id's.. Whats in the name? I could be sheela, meeta, raani or even asraani.. and in this age of the Internet no one would even know.. you can build an entirely different personal id.. and yet somehow there is much importance given to names ..

Why is it that people feel safer when someone says " hi my name is ....." than someone who says.. whats in the name.. u can call me whatever u want.. why the judgment against such a person? I think it might be that the secrecy of name, age, location might make others think that something is being held back ..may be she's linked with the underground.. may be she's a don.. why can't it just simply be .. may be she does not like her name.. or perhaps she's got too many ex's! whatever be the reason.. if its an informal meeting.. or over the net then i think its not at all necessary that one introduces themselves with names and mundane things like that..

There are so many times when i feel gosh.. I wish I could escape to a place where no one recognizes me.. I wish I could be just me.. or not be me.. be a character out of the loads and barrels of books I have read... alas no one prefers it these days.. not that I blame them.. its not a safe world anymore.. but there are harmless people wanting to have some harmless fun without the necessity of recognition spoiling the scene.. but that's just me.. a whole lot different from the rest of the world..I wish people would stop asking me who I am and rather question me on what i do, what I like, what I think, what I feel is right or wrong..what I am on the whole!

Yeh Jo Hain Zindagi

Hmm.. continuing on the last post.. there have been several things happened last week that made me think about the civility in people.. My dad used to say "Common Sense is the most rarest sense found in a man" well I agreed at that point, but lately I have come to think of it as Civic Sense is the one that is the rarest well the last post I said how I had to keep quiet and grin despite the loud music.. coz it was someone else's property.. well now the someone else comes to my property and does not pay heed to my choices and restrictions.. comments on how my paintings look and how my educational institution is and that our country's army is not fit to go to war!! Huh I think.. how dare he does that, despite the fact that he knows half my family is from the defense forces.. well well.. according to me anyone who thinks that fighting for the nation is trivial and peanuts they should be asked to undergo a compulsory training in those harsh environments.. the soldiers are with constantly vigilant at the borders of the country protecting it with their lives and thats the cost they pay for us to breathe free air.. just because we are no longer on our motherland does not mean that we can look down upon their efforts and their supreme scrifices!

How insensitive can a person be.. I agree that everyone is entitled to have his/her opinions but there is a place and time to voice it and and then of course call it your opinion.. don't declare it as though its the universal truth! Especially not when there are people around who can take it very personally. There is a limit to how much of the other person I can take, especially if the person means no more to me than a acquaintance turned friend.. for the past one year.. it definitely calls for more politeness from the other quarter. Is it so difficult to think before you talk.. actions and words have a lot of importance .. and they can be misinterpreted very easily.. in such a delicate web of society if a person decides to rip apart the thin lines that bind us by speaking the wrong things in front of the wrong people and at a very wrong time.. then what more can one say... except that its a pitiful situation. But then.. I still kept quiet.. after the noisy lot left, I came back and thought.. why did I keep quiet.. I should have told something, he needs to be at least apologetic about it.. if not anything else..but then I did not.. 'coz it just seems so rude.. and as my mom says "Athiti devo bhava" .. A guest is like God.. do not ill treat.. and so I keep mum.. but then swords are crossed.. either he learns manners or quits talking.. If the cost of friendship and entertainment is restriction of choice and comments on personal achievements be it myself or my family.. then that is not worth paying.

There are some rules in life that people should follow if they want to live in a society comprised of different people with different cultures, tastes, and backgrounds. I don't say sacrifice your choice of things for the sake of being a social being.. but then don't hurt others sentiments by your words.. the universe always conspires to bring back the good/evil you do unto others.. some day you're bound benefit/regret what you've done..

Alas, this is life (yeh jo hain zindagi) .. and these are the kind of namoonas (characters) you see day by day!

Main Khayyal Huin

Main khayyal huin --- Means I am a thought..and yes I did flick the dialog off an old epic serial aired on TV when I was a kid.. every episode used to start with "Main samay huin.." meaning I am time.. its after the passive viewer of every life on this and other universes. On the other hand there is a thought.. very much active alive.. thriving in everyone's mind... frolicking from a definite form to a random thought and then blowing itself to an indefinite sphere.. and then.. reality comes forth and u realize how difficult it is to trace back the trail of thoughts that occurred.. where did it all start.. and where have I come to? Which one to be.. the thought of course.. just for the reason that its simpler..

There are too many things in the world to think about... is it a surprise then that a thought is more random than the most random noise that can be found in the current wireless comm systems.. hmm.. so let me start off on one...I have often begun thinking about happiness and laughter.. and the pleasant things that I have had in life.. and end up getting depressed.. hmm interesting isn't it that I end up at exactly 180 degrees across from where I begun..

Well.. its true isn't it that life is like a sine wave.. once high once low.. but then isn't body a system and the mind its controller. No matter where the pointer of life is on a crest or a trough, mind always makes sure it remains at DC... not moving anywhere..hmm interesting .. but only in thought.. not in reality.. it takes tremendous effort to be a passive observer of your own self and control the moves you make. But the truly great manage to do that.. I wish I knew the secret to success in E control.. and that's E for emotion.. not E for energy!! and then of course the classic question that I ask myself every time I try to practice it.. " Is it really that necessary that I exhibit control.. isn't life meant to be lived?" and so.. I am a thought..